Hello and welcome to the final installment of The Kickoff for the year. I hope you have enjoyed following along for the past few weeks and I hope your team is one of the two to make it to the end! As much as I don’t want to be reminded of the train wreck these predictions have become, let’s recap. After the conference championships, the record is updated to 3-7…as both Minnesota and Jacksonville lost their respective games.
Anyways, the 52nd Super Bowl will be played between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New England Patriots. Who will win? Let’s find out!
The Patriots win the coin toss (man, they win literally everything) and elect to receive in the first half and we are now under way. This initial drive from New England consists of a whopping four yards and they end their drive by punting. Philadelphia takes over after the punt at around their own 28 and easily get across midfield with a few quick run plays. Once they cross midfield, they stall out as well and eventually punt it away. Teams trade drives for the remainder of the first quarter with nothing really happening on any of them. We begin the second quarter with Brady getting sacked two times in a row, thus losing a lot of yardage and backing them up to their own endzone. After an attempt to run away from the endzone yielding a tackle-for-loss on the one-yard line, New England is forced to punt. Here is where the action happens, the Eagles manage to block the punt in the endzone, the ball rolls around for a bit and eventually the Pats pick it up and…step out of bounds with it. This gives the Eagles a 2-0 lead early in the second quarter after the safety, oh, they also get the ball too. That’s where that ends though as they can’t do anything and are forced to punt, but they pin the Patriots deep on their own one-yard line. We see the usual “run to get out of the endzone” tactic employed by New England and it almost results in another safety but luckily (or unluckily) they get out just enough before the knee goes down. A couple of penalties by the Eagles helps move New England farther away from the wrong end of the field. We see this drive continue across midfield and after a nice pass to the 20-yard line it appears that New England might take the lead. That is, until that pass is fumbled and Philadelphia recovers. The first half ends here with the Eagles out in front by a huge score of 2-0.
“Did you seriously just skip the halftime of the Super Bowl?”, asks the commentator when we return. Oh yes, yes, I did. I would do it again if I could.
The Eagles begin the third quarter on offense with the hopes of increasing their lead to something more than what can be countered by a field goal. Well, they can’t do it on their first drive as they are stopped and forced to punt. The Patriots can’t do anything either as their drive goes for three quick plays and they too, are required to punt. Late in the third quarter we finally see our first touchdown as Philly airs it out for 65-yards and increase their lead to 9-0. Nothing else happens for the third quarter and we begin the final quarter. With two minutes left in the game, we see the Patriots finally wake up and start moving the ball downfield. They are able to get into the endzone and we now have a two point game again as Philadelphia still leads 9-7. The onside kick from New England comes and the Eagles are able to recover it safely. After the Patriots fail to stop Philly from getting a much needed first down, that seals the deal and the Eagles claim the trophy with a 9-7 victory.
Pay no mind to the scoreboard showing the game ending in a tie. That will do it for this year everyone, if things right fans of the Philadelphia Eagles should be happy. Meanwhile, the fans of the Patriots, not so much…and Tom Brady will be wondering why he got a sixth finger sown on to his hand. Yet, if these weeks have taught us anything, don’t trust these super scientific predictions at all.