Frantic’s Antics: Breaking Down the Women’s Royal Rumble

Hello everyone and welcome back to Frantic’s Antics! If you read last week’s Tri-Weekly Freakly, you’ll be familiar with the Royal Rumble 2018, specifically the men’s. Well this week we’re going through the historic Women’s historic Royal Rumble of history! Let’s jump right in!

1. Sasha Banks

Frantic: Deja Vu! Well at least my thoughts were feeling this way as I immediately jumped to the conclusion that Sasha would be the ironwoman of this match. I didn’t expect a win, but figured final four was extremely possible, and I was right. Also, please please please let her elimination of Bayley trigger the desperately needed heel turn.

Freakshow: I’m not the biggest Sasha Banks fan, but she is a damn good wrestler. I figured she would be one of the ironwomen of the match. She also hit Lita with the fakest kicks I’ve seen since Randy Orton swung wide on John Cena with a punt kick.

Time in Rumble: 54:46

2. Becky Lynch

Frantic: Again, ironwoman? Yes. Yes indeed. I love Becky Lynch and would’ve loved to see her win, but didn’t expect it at all. Getting to eliminate Lita sealed her fate as my favorite lady not named Asuka as Lita was my favorite thanks to her Team Xtreme involvement back in the day. Passing of the torch? I would say so.

Freakshow: Another really good wrestler, and it’s a shame she isn’t pushed harder. I figured she would be one of the longer lasting one. I wanted her to win due to the facts I like her, and she likes puns.

Time in Rumble: 30:54

3. Sarah Logan

Frantic: Let’s get some new blood in there! I didn’t know what to expect honestly, but a 16+ minute run is definitely nothing to bawk at. This was Freakshow’s girl to root for in the lottery. Not a bad showing at all.

Freakshow: My pick for the lottery, and I person I wish would have made it longer. I’ve been following her since she was “Crazy” Mary Dobson, and I was really excited to see her kick some ass in the rumble.

Time in Rumble: 16:30

4. Mandy Rose

Frantic: Another in the realm of unknown expectations. Glad I didn’t want more as her time was short-lived.

Freakshow:  A Rose by any other name… would probably have lasted longer.

Time in Rumble: 3:52

5. Lita

Frantic: Surprise entrant number 1 is the aforementioned Lita! Besides nearly killing herself with a moonsault, she definitely had a good quick nostalgic run.

Freakshow: The first of many surprise entrants. I wasn’t expecting much from her with her history of neck issues. She still got a good reaction, and did a dangerous looking moonsault.

Time in Rumble: 5:51

6. Kairi Sane

Frantic: Another surprise! Seeing Kairi Sane throw some elbow drops is always awesome. I don’t know if I’d call her a “yacht enthusiast” though… Might be easier to call her what she is… You know, a pirate.

Freakshow: Pirate Princess……er yacht enthusiast herself and one of the top wrestlers in the world, man or woman. She also throws some of the best elbow drops I’ve ever seen by anyone not named “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Too bad she only lasted about 5 minutes.

Time in Rumble: 4:49

7. Tamina

Frantic: Second fastest elimination of the historic Women’s historic Royal Rumble of history goes to Tamina! So much for the “how will they eliminate the big gals?!” gimmick they love to talk up.

Freakshow: Our first blink and you missed it entrants into this Rumble. I don’t expect her to ever win anything, so I wasn’t surprised.

Time in Rumble: 1:34

8. Dana Brooke

Frantic: A gymnastic statistician! Kinda felt odd for her to eliminate Sane… As for expectations I definitely was thinking she’d make it longer than she did.

Freakshow: The trend continues as Dana is only in the match for a cup of coffee. At least she eliminated  someone. Sadly it was Kairi Sane.

Time in Rumble: 2:59

9. Torrie Wilson

Frantic: Playboy Model turned Fitness Guru Torrie Wilson gives us another surprise entrant! I figured another nostalgic run that wouldn’t overstay its welcome.

Freakshow: Another nostalgic entrant into the rumble. She looks to be in better shape now then when she was wrestling, and that’s saying a lot since she was always in amazing shape.

Time in Rumble: 3:04

10. Sonya Deville

Frantic: This one I wasn’t sure on how long she would last either. I figured she might make a decent length run but she only lasted just over 6 ½ minutes.

Freakshow: I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I’m glad I didn’t get my hopes up.

Time in Rumble: 6:41

11. Liv Morgan

Frantic: Another recent NXT call-up makes an appearance in the Rumble! And she doesn’t do too much or last that long.

Freakshow: She really reminds me of Carmella for some reason. She didn’t really Liv that long in this match.

Time in Rumble: 5:12

12. Molly Holly

Frantic: The Hurricane is here so obviously we need his partner Molly Holly! I popped for this because I remember her and the Hurricane’s shenanigans. She got her stuff in and was eliminated shortly after. Nothing wrong with that.

Freakshow: I was always a huge fan of Molly Holly (and the Holly Cousins in general)  I’m glad she came in and was still able to do the Molly-Go-Round. I popped pretty big for that. I wish she would come back in some capacity.

Time in Rumble: 4:04

13. Lana

Frantic: Rusev Day makes its third appearance of the night with the wife of Rusev! Man she should’ve lasted longer.

Freakshow: FOR THE THIRD TIME TONIGHT ITS RUSEV DAY!!!!! And she’s gone. Sad Rusev Day.

Time in Rumble: 2:54

14. Michelle McCool

Frantic: Hey look it’s female Undertaker! Oddly enough she’s doing her best Triple H with a Shovel impression as she immediately eliminated entries 10-14. Pretty crazy that she got that much of a push for being a nostalgic entrant.

Freakshow: Michelle McUndertaker still looked really good, and she proved she could still go in the ring. My only complaint would be that she came in, and entrants 10-14 with ease.

Time in Rumble: 8:38

15. Ruby Riott

Frantic: I was expecting some women’s stable shenanigans in the Rumble and while we did get a bit of that, there never was a full-on stable out in the ring. Probably too high of an expectation given Absolution has Paige now as just a manager due to her severe injuries, but Ruby entered alone and lasted a decent length adding the elimination of Becky Lynch to her resume.

Freakshow: The woman I secretly wanted to win the whole thing. I was really hoping we would get some sort of Riott Squad control of the Rumble, but it wasn’t meant to be, Speaking of Ruby though one thing that kinda annoys me in the fact her tights still have the “Riot” spelling of her name on them.

Time in Rumble: 11:32

16. Vickie Guerrero

Frantic: Vickie Guerrero shouting “EXCUSE ME” will never fail to gain heat I imagine. She walked out screaming and was promptly eliminated immediately by all the women in the ring. This was hilarious and near perfect. Also Vickie Guerrero lasted longer than Sheamus. Let that one sink in.

Freakshow: It was nice to see her back screaming “Excuse Me” at everyone in the building. She’s still one of the most hated heels in wrestling, and I never want that to change. When she got in the ring for a brief moment all the other wrestlers in the match teamed up to eliminate Vickie. It was beautiful.

Time in Rumble: 0:57

17. Carmella

Frantic: Miss “Money in the Bank is literally my Gimmick” Carmella makes her way to the ring, taunts Vickie Guerrero, and gets hit by Vickie who managed to grab her briefcase and lightly tap her with it. Carmella then proves she is made of glass as she is now on the mat for a decent length of time. Why Vickie didn’t take the briefcase and cash it in for a shot at the title is beyond me. But that’s about all the expectations I had for Carmella. She eats pins, wears dollar signs, and never cashes in. I didn’t expect that to happen but it lingered in my mind. They didn’t even tease it so my expectations were filled. Nearly 19 minutes in the Rumble isn’t something to bawk at, though.

Freakshow: One day she will cash in her Money in the Bank briefcase. She lasted almost 19 minutes in the match which is good considering that she was brought into NXT as just another pretty face with no real wrestling skill.

Time in Rumble: 18:45

18. Natalya

Frantic: Here’s my lottery entrant! The cat lady Natalya shows up and has a good decent length run in the Rumble. I didn’t think she’d win but wouldn’t be surprised if she made something like the final 6-8. 3rd longest time in the Rumble is quite impressive.

Freakshow: The Queen of Hearts has entered the ring, and did pretty well for herself. I didn’t expect her to win, but being in the match for the 3rd longest time is a good accomplishment for herself.

Time in Rumble: 25:34

19. Kelly Kelly

Frantic: Nostalgia! I literally know nothing about Kelly Kelly so I literally had no expectations. She was fed to Nia Jax here shortly.

Freakshow: Oh yes, Kelly Kelly. From a time when women were treated as sex objects rather than wrestlers. Vince McMahon once taught her how to do a striptease. That’s really all I got for her.

Time in Rumble: 5:02

20. Naomi

Frantic: So the Glow Girl is the female Kofi Kingston? Sounds good. Naomi gets eliminated but manages to cleverly escape by walking along the barricade, getting on one of the office chairs lying around, and uses her hands to walk the chair around to the steps, all while Nia Jax is in the ring… just standing there? What was she doing? Anyways Naomi gets in and is immediately removed by Nia again. I liked this, but think it would’ve been hilarious to have Alexa Bliss just knock the chair out from under Naomi since she went right past while attempting to re-enter the ring.

Freakshow: I’m not really a fan of Naomi. Maybe because I’ll never see her as anything else except a Funkdactyl. At any rate she pravented herself from being eliminated in a way that reminded me of Kofi Kingston while Nia Jax watched her. Then Nia eliminated her as soon as Naomi got back in the ring.

Time in Rumble: 6:49

21. Jacqueline

Frantic: Nostalgia again! The two-time WWE Women’s Champion returns to a loud pop only to get fed to Nia Jax. No worries there, I think that was the right call. It was cool seeing Jacqueline who looks great for her age.

Freakshow: I didn’t expect much from the former 2 time Women’s Champion, but damn was she still in amazing shape!

Time in Rumble: 1:52

22. Nia Jax

Franic: I’ve been mentioning Nia quite a lot even though she hadn’t appeared yet if you were just reading the list. Anyways I had the winners down to 2 specific women: Asuka and Nia. While the men’s rumble I picked the final 2, the women’s I did not. Nia racked up 4 eliminations but was eliminated by 6 women and their combined effort. Insert generic “giant” comments here.

Freakshow: Nia lasted a decent amount of time like I thought she would. She tossed 4 woman out of the match, and like every other “giant” wrestler in any Rumble ever it took a handful of wrestlers to eliminate her.

Time in Rumble: 17:56

23. Ember Moon

Frantic: Say what?! Both NXT champions called up to the Rumble in the same night? Ember Moon, still selling her arm injury from TakeOver, makes her way to the ring and does some awesome stuff. While her stay was short, her purpose beyond padding the numbers to 30, was to fuel a brief battle between her and Asuka to call back to their great rivalry.

Freakshow: Ember was still selling the arm injury from the night before, so I figured her time on my screen would be short. The stuff she did do was pretty great like it always is though. I just wish she would of lasted longer.

Time in Rumble: 6:14

24. Beth Pheonix

Frantic: Going down in history as (possibly) the only woman to enter both the men and women’s rumble, Beth Phoenix arrives to a large pop! She’d go head first at Nia and ultimately knock her to the outside of the ring (not eliminated) and then reunite with her best friend Natalya. Then Natalya eliminated because heel’s gotta heel.

Freakshow: One of only 3 women to enter the men’s rumble. I always love seeing Beth Phoenix, and this time was no different. She showed off her amazing strength when she picked up Nia Jax, but sadly couldn’t get the job done. She had a brief reunion with her fellow Diva of Doom Natalya. Sadly it was short lived as Natalya eliminated Beth.

Time in Rumble: 2:22

25. Asuka (Winner)

Frantic: My pick for winner, and the eventual winner, Asuka makes her way to the ring! Her and Ember Moon have a face-off and in my favorite moment of the Rumble Asuka taunts Ember’s arm injury. The way she taunts is hilarious and this makes Ember mad. They fight for a bit and, just like their rivalry, Asuka comes out on top and eliminates Ember. As stated previously, she would ultimately win eliminating Nikki Bella in nail-biting fashion with both women on the apron.

Freakshow: The eventual winner surprising no one. Her and Ember Moon had a good interaction which lead to Ember being eliminated. Whoever ends up beating Asuka is going to be an automatic Superstar.

Time in Rumble: 19:41

26. Mickie James

Frantic: I always forget about Mickie James. Not to say she isn’t entertaining, I just forget. She comes out looking… interesting. She’s got some mild face paint going with her hair pushed back. Looked peculiar but she had a good showing. She didn’t eliminate anyone but she did get to reignite the rivalry of her and Trish Stratus. More on that in a moment.

Freakshow: Fun fact I met Mickie James at a TNA event at a highscool in West Virginia. She’s a real sweetheart, and stayed until everyone had the chance to talk to her. It was pretty awesome to see her and Trish Stratus in the same ring again

Time in Rumble: 8:24

27. Nikki Bella

Frantic: I actually have never seen the Bella Twins wrestle, I just know who they’re married to and that they have a TV show. Anyways I think the biggest thing from the Bella twins was the fact that they made the final four and Nikki eliminated Brie.

Freakshow: I never really cared for the Bella Twins. They were booked the same way as any team if twins switching with each other in matches to get an unfair advantage. I didn’t like that both Bellas were in the final four.

Time in Rumble: 16:30

28. Brie Bella

Frantic: …see previous comments.

Freakshow: Please refer to entry #27.

Time in Rumble: 11:38

29. Bayley

Frantic: Oh Bayley… Why can’t you be booked right? I like Bayley. Freakshow will insist her gimmick isn’t main roster worthy, and while there is truth in that statement, I think the real crime is how she was booked. Anyways she is here to further hint at the break-up of her and Sasha as she was nearly immediately thrown out by Sasha. Can that heel turn just happen already?

Freakshow: I really wish Bayley was treated better, but the gimmick just doesn’t translate from NXT to the main roster. As for the Rumble her and Sasha just need to feud already and have a match as good as their 30 minute Ironman Match at NXT TakeOver: Respect in 2015.

Time in Rumble: 5:04

30. Trish Stratus

Frantic: Biggest pop of the night most likely goes to Trish at 30. Many of us expected Ronda Rousey. Instead we got Trish. Pretty awesome. She and Mickie James have a stare-down before Trish is able to eliminate her. Then the remaining women (Bella Twins, Sasha, Bayley, Asuka, and Natalya) eliminate Nia Jax together. Sasha throws Bayley into the front row. Trish gets rid of Natalya. Sasha throws Trish out and the final 4 is the Bella Twins, Asuka, and Sasha. Asuka gets teamed-up on, then the twins get rid of Sasha, and you know the rest.

Freakshow: Easily the biggest pop of the women’s rumble, and possibly the whole night. Trish and Mickie had a good interaction. I completely believe that Trish could have went on to win if she had any desire to get back into wrestling.

Time in Rumble: 5:36

Frantic: This was a great Rumble match. While the Men’s was more crisp, I think this exceeded many’s expectations. It had a good mix of nostalgia and current talent, wonderfully unique spots, and the right woman one. I think the biggest issue was the fact that the girls would often go to the outside of the ring without being eliminated, causing us to be a bit confused as to who really was legal. But I do think this was an awesome match.

Ronda Rousey debuted afterwards and pointed at the Wrestlemania sign 36 times. Everyone seems 50/50 on this. Some claim it took away from Asuka’s win, others not so much. I’m in the latter half as this was the best way to debut her, assuming they were dead set on her debuting here, as she didn’t undermine the work of all the women involved who got the Women’s Division to where it is today. Rousey is reportedly coming on full-time, so that is exciting. Here’s hoping it isn’t handled stupidly (like having her primarily being there to put Stephanie over, as reports are saying).

Freakshow: As for my take on Ronda Rousey debuting after the Rumble I think it was the best way to bring her in, but it looked like she forgot what she was supposed to do or something. She pointed to the WrestleMania sign at least 83 times.

What did you guys think of the Women’s Rumble? Let us know on Twitter and we’ll see you next time!

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